Our Open Letter to Cows

Look, it’s not you, it’s us. We had a great run, but now you’re kinda holding us back. It’s our fault, we loved you so much that we bred you in unsustainable numbers and we’ll admit it.

We screwed up.

We stripped you of your independence and your neediness for resources drove us into the arms of another.

(Also, we never quite knew how to bring it up, but your methane burps are literally toxic and causing global warming. Not your fault but, just saying.)

After being together for so long, you deserve to know.

Their name is Oat.

They’re kinda like you – creamy and delicious – and there’s no easy way to say this, but we just feel better about ourselves being with them.

We hope you understand, and wish you nothing but the best.

Love,
Us